is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
