I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
