lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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