the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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