just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
