i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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