Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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