You really coming over, don't trick.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
