would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
