I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
