dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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