In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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