.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
