yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
