I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
MIDGETS
????
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
