they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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