I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
