"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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