I'm eating all of the evidence.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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