Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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