Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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