wrigley field is MILF paradise
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
