is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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