Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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