I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
