dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
