You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is classic penis vs brain.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
