i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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