You're my little dorito
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
