Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
