i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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