I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
