He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's the barista slut.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
