My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
