yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
