I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
