Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
