a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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