so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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