Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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