New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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