We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
