But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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