My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize