First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
