I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im six kinds of drunk right now
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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