Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
