Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
