would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
