think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
