what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
