I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
