she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
