matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize