Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
