idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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