Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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