he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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