you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
