u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
